-What is an appropriate attitude to take when the new Coronavirus is spreading?
Q&A
Q 1: My son hates a face mask. But We have opportunities to go out. What should I do?
A: *He may feel uncomfortable from hyperesthesia. He may have a pain or tingling by the touch of a mask. Try other materials such as cloth or paper towel, etc.
*If he strongly resists to put on a mask, tell him to keep social distance- 6 feet or 4 adult’s arms or 5 big steps away from others.
*Masks aren't perfect for preventing the spread of illness, but they do keep him from touching his mouth and nose with his fingers.
Q 2: My child now washes her hands hard many times a day, so her hands turn red and get rough. Do I have to stop it or let it alone?
A: * Share with her the new and proper way of washing hands in this special situation such as 1) using soap, 2) for about 20 seconds, and 3) carefully scrubbing your nails, fingertips, wrists , palms, the back of your hands, and between your fingers, then 4) drying your hands with towel, and 5) applying moisturizing cream, after coming back from outside or getting a delivery.
*Try singing the song "Happy Birthday to You" twice (about 20 seconds) to make sure your child keeps washing hands long enough. There are various videos on YouTube that show how to have a fun and proper washing hands.
Q 3: My child is likely to cough in public. I wonder the sudden change in temperature would make him cough. How do I do for him?
A: *He may feel tense and nervous in public. It is also true some children on the AS are very sensitive to sudden temperature changes. It would be a good idea to write down on the mask like "It's not an infectious cough" with a sense of humor.
*Tell your child the proper way to cover his mouth 1) with your arm, not your palm; 2) if you do cover your mouth with your hand, wipe your hand immediately with a wet tissue; 3) take a large towel and cover your entire face with it, and put it into something like a plastic bag.
*Share the etiquette with your child in public to make a habit of saying "Excuse me” or "I'm sorry" after coughing.
Q 4: Since my child is hyperactive, she can't stay still at home for a long time. I am afraid that she got stressed and will hurt herself. How can I do for her?
A: *Yes, for children who tend to be hyperactive, physical activity is important for them to get calm and recover psychological security. The government has not prohibited children from enjoying physical activities. Make a daily routine that would include an hour or less of exercise or some physical activities, whether alone or with a family, while keeping a safe distance, such as rope-skipping, jogging, taking a walk or stretching. It would be a good change of pace to visit a favorite place by your car.
*Take a walk in an open area rather than a small park. If you are going to use playground equipment at the park, bring a wet tissue with alcohol sterilization and wipe your hands and equipment with it.
*Try to create the exercise hour in your house by using YouTube or other tools.
Q 5: My son used to go to the library every Thursday, but now it's closed, so I am scared every Thursday comes as he gets irritated.
A: *He must feel unstable and irritated by suddenly stopping doing a routine activity. If possible, create new routines. For example, tidy up a bookshelf every Thursday instead of visiting a library and so on.
*If this doesn’t convince him, take him to the library together once and check the “closed” sign, or take a picture of the closed site. Every time he wants to go, show the picture, and talk about it together.
Q 6: I am worried about a delay of study of my daughter. I want to let her catch up somehow now. But she is crazy about the online game all day. What should I do?
A: *Make a daily schedule with your child. At that time, let her take the initiative and encourage her to consider the balance between what you want to do and what you must do and put both in a schedule.
*Prevent overconcentration on one activity and let her realize the time to change the activity before getting absorbed with a kitchen timer. Changing rooms or changing places can also help refresh her feelings and make it easy to stop and change activities.
*Anyone wants to take the escape behaviors such as playing games, having sweets and drinks, watching an entertainment program, and so on in the stressful situation. Keep in mind that it is helpful to take these behaviors to protect and take care of oneself sometimes and to some extent.
*Use the hours at home for her to find what she is really interested. If the child is interested in the unique theme which are different from school subjects, such as a list of movies about pandemics, the history of masks, and so on, let her research on them. Your child will learn more and develop her self-confidence, which would help her study at school.
Q 7: Many scheduled events are canceled. Our children are not good at adapting to changes and feel more and more frustrated. Since we parents cannot work calmly or have private time, the relationship between children and us has got worse.
A: *These children are more likely to feel tension and anxiety in unstable situations with sudden changes or cancelations. However, no one can foresee what might happen in the current situation, so let your children set the short-term goals to achieve.
*Create a daily schedule so that you can have an overall view of the day. A “perspective” would help children have a sense of self-control and feel calm.
*It is sometimes said that children on the AS are not empathic, but they are very good at observing nonverbal but visible cues and catch what their significant persons are like. So, it is important to avoid quarrels that parents would switch gears emotionally and feel stable for them.
*In order to reduce parental stress even a little, make sure to "take a breather." Stay away from news about infectious diseases that bothers us. Think less about profit and loss and act more on the basis of our likes and dislikes. Release yourself from stress.
* If you feel like shouting at or striking your child, take a deep breath, step back, and close your eyes slightly. Then give yourself credit for handling yourself well.
Q 8: It is said that children hardly get infected, and even if their symptoms are mild, but since we live with grandma, I'm more worried about her getting infected from my daughter.
A: *One of the lessons learned during the Great East Japan Earthquake—"Tsunami Tendenko” or “Make your own decisions and run for your own lives”—teaches us to protect ourselves. If each of us takes responsibility for his or her own life, then we can all survive.
*In order to prevent the spread of infectious diseases and live in peace with everyone, first of all protect ourselves by staying home, keeping a social distance for others’ lives. Besides doing so, let her know it important to get nutritious foods, get exercise, sleep well, enjoy talking with people and laugh.
*But it is a difficult task to never get infected. Teach her that blaming or criticizing an infected person is wrong.
*If you don’t feel well, refrain from going out and call the Returnees / Contacts Consultation Center at the nearest public health center to get instructions. You don't need to carry everything on your own shoulders. And you don't need to blame yourself in case your child gets infected.
For help you can go to the following site of the Ministry of Health, Labor and Welfare:
https://www.mhlw.go.jp/stf/seisakunitsuite/bunya/kenkou_iryou/dengue_fever_qa_00001.html#Q28
Q 9: My son is not very sensitive to pain or other physical signs. So, he may not realize when he is sick.
A: *Some children on the AS are physically very sensitive, but at same time insensitive in other ways and uncertain about how they really feel. Try to measure your son’s temperature at the same time every day and record it on something that he can see. That makes it possible for him to “visualize” his condition.
*If the temperature is 37.5 degrees or higher, observe your son’s condition carefully for about 4 days (about 2 days if the child is suffering from conditions like asthma) and call the Returnee / Contact Person Consultation Center at the nearest public health center.
*You should know some child have a very low body temperature. In this case, you need not wait for 37.5 degrees, which is only a standard of reference. It is important to take each child’s uniqueness condition into consideration.
*Check the following besides physical conditions: 1) changes in the degree of talkativeness (becoming very quiet suddenly); 2) frequency of irritation; 3) abnormal sleep or appetite (lack of sleep or, on the contrary, sleeping about 20 hours a day, sudden loss of appetite, sometimes complaining of loss of the sense of taste or smell, etc.); 4) loss of interest in favorite things; 5) self-stimulation, self-harm, and other harmful behavior.
Q 10: My child has difficulty of understanding the invisible or the abstract. How can I make her understand what virus or infection is?
A: *Trying to visualize it might help a little. For example, even though a virus is not a living thing, it is useful to anthropomorphize it in a picture, find out about its characteristics.
*Illustrate the system of how to transmit virus from one person to others. It would be helpful for your child to understand the invisible situation so she can judge how to behave.
*Don’t misunderstand that she wouldn't understand anything invisible or abstract. It’s not true because these children on the AS are sometimes sensitive to the invisible movements of universe, such as changes in atmospheric pressure.
Q 11: The news says the we should stay at home. So, my son obsessively and compulsively stays home and has us stay and gets reluctant and mad at me when I would go out shopping.
A: *Your son may have a strong desire to obey rules and wants to impose it on family and friends.
*Concerning the concept of not going out when something is "not important or urgent" even adults are at a loss how to define the parameters. Let's look at another country’s response to get some concrete ideas.
In France people are allowed "to go out for a necessary errand such as buying food for daily life", "to go to the hospital and get medicine," "to go jogging for 30-60 minutes by yourself or walk the dog once a day within 1Km from home," "going out to do work which can't be done in the house," "caring for a family member with a disability or illness," and "attending a summons by a government bureau or court." These guidelines are easy to understand and follow.
*Please avoid vague expressions as much as possible and teach your child using concrete expressions.
Q 12: If the infection continues spreading every day and we don't know what will happen next, will we get psychological damages and feel helpless and lose motivation?
A: *There are what experts can do and what we can do.
Even though we are not experts, we can proactively cooperate together by staying home, keeping a distance and so on during this period of voluntary restraint, so that the healthcare system does not collapse.
*Increasing our awareness that we are participating in this worldwide struggle and contributing in some way as a member of society will help us not only to overcome the feeling of helplessness but also to heal our inner wounds with the power of the mind.
April 3rd, 2020
(Asami Maekawa: Clinical Psychologist, Certified Psychologist, Tokyo Woman's Christian University)
Translation&Production: Assistive Technology Development Organization (ATDO)
Cooperation:Science Accessibility Net (sAccessNet)